Missing you

Missing you.... Missing who? Am missing my boy, my cheeky boy... He's very cheeky, mischievous and vain too. The cheekiness in him, comes from whom? Well it must be from his dad ( am still in denial that my boy is so much like me, hence I blame all his bad traits on his dad.)I certainly can imagine what my parents have to go through in order to raise me up. (Having a little sneak preview of what I may have to go through in the future)Yikes!! Not a very pleasant insight, considering the migraines that I may have struck on my parents... I use to blame my parents for being unreasonable, uptight and uncool or more like not being understanding enough. Well who am I kidding? For them to be unreasonable, there must be a reason to it, maybe the reasons or excuses that I may have lay on them were absurd (valid and logic to the teenager me). Thinking back on some of my teenager episode, it makes me truly wonder, how can i come up with such a stupid excuses for the things that I've done..

For example; (this I remember very clearly) I've sneak out from home around 10ish at night to go "socializing", it was a good outing till I've forgotten the time. By the time I realize how late or early it was... It was sighted as doomed. I've manage to sneak back to my home back garden around 05:30am, and my mum was already awake. In order not to raise any suspicion, I played it cool by lepaking at the garden, hence giving my mum the shock of finding me in the garden.

Here's part of the conversation which I remembered clearly:
Mum : "What are you doing here at such hour?"
Me : "I’m tired of studying, I needed some fresh air, so I lepak here la."
Mum : "That's a very pretty dress you're wearing there and you smells funny"
Me : " I’m going to bed now, the fresh air somehow gives me migraine. Please don't wake me up. I’m having migraine, hence not attending school today."
Mum : Rest well then.

* I was 16 years old when this happen. I guess my mum must have found it too hilarious, to be mad at me. She never brought up the subject again. But this episode always stays with me till today. It always reminds me of my own stupidity or ignorance. Back then I think I was smart to have outwitted my mum, but then now looking back, my mum was the smarter one, cos she didn't even have to waste a single breath of hers to reprimand or ground me for sneaking out n boozing. I've ground myself, but it was only for weeks, before I repeat it again but this time I make sure that am always back before my mum wakes up. *wink*wink*

I can't imagine what went through my mum's mind at night back then, was she really asleep as i think she is or she's busy worrying sick about me? She must have trusted me then and now who’s the one being unreasonable, uptight n uncool or have no understanding… It’s ME!!! I’ve only realize my mistakes and my wrong doings 16 years later, after I’ve become a mum myself. Wow!! It took me this long to wake up. Jeezz … Something is absolutely very wrong with me.
At one point of time, we must have thought of ourselves as the invincible one or the smartest one. Boy… was we wrong. There’s a hokkien saying: Our parents have eaten more salt then we have eaten rice… Go figure…

Well, I just hope that my boy will be wiser and smarter than me, then to do the entire foolish thing that I’ve done in the past. But who are we kidding? These are the part of the experience or process that we need in order to grow up. Mistakes improve a person, hence as a parent we can only guide our children, and we must allow them to have the freedom to be their own person. We can only advise and not dictates. But to what extend must the freedom be extend to?

Till next time…