Missing you

Missing you.... Missing who? Am missing my boy, my cheeky boy... He's very cheeky, mischievous and vain too. The cheekiness in him, comes from whom? Well it must be from his dad ( am still in denial that my boy is so much like me, hence I blame all his bad traits on his dad.)I certainly can imagine what my parents have to go through in order to raise me up. (Having a little sneak preview of what I may have to go through in the future)Yikes!! Not a very pleasant insight, considering the migraines that I may have struck on my parents... I use to blame my parents for being unreasonable, uptight and uncool or more like not being understanding enough. Well who am I kidding? For them to be unreasonable, there must be a reason to it, maybe the reasons or excuses that I may have lay on them were absurd (valid and logic to the teenager me). Thinking back on some of my teenager episode, it makes me truly wonder, how can i come up with such a stupid excuses for the things that I've done..

For example; (this I remember very clearly) I've sneak out from home around 10ish at night to go "socializing", it was a good outing till I've forgotten the time. By the time I realize how late or early it was... It was sighted as doomed. I've manage to sneak back to my home back garden around 05:30am, and my mum was already awake. In order not to raise any suspicion, I played it cool by lepaking at the garden, hence giving my mum the shock of finding me in the garden.

Here's part of the conversation which I remembered clearly:
Mum : "What are you doing here at such hour?"
Me : "I’m tired of studying, I needed some fresh air, so I lepak here la."
Mum : "That's a very pretty dress you're wearing there and you smells funny"
Me : " I’m going to bed now, the fresh air somehow gives me migraine. Please don't wake me up. I’m having migraine, hence not attending school today."
Mum : Rest well then.

* I was 16 years old when this happen. I guess my mum must have found it too hilarious, to be mad at me. She never brought up the subject again. But this episode always stays with me till today. It always reminds me of my own stupidity or ignorance. Back then I think I was smart to have outwitted my mum, but then now looking back, my mum was the smarter one, cos she didn't even have to waste a single breath of hers to reprimand or ground me for sneaking out n boozing. I've ground myself, but it was only for weeks, before I repeat it again but this time I make sure that am always back before my mum wakes up. *wink*wink*

I can't imagine what went through my mum's mind at night back then, was she really asleep as i think she is or she's busy worrying sick about me? She must have trusted me then and now who’s the one being unreasonable, uptight n uncool or have no understanding… It’s ME!!! I’ve only realize my mistakes and my wrong doings 16 years later, after I’ve become a mum myself. Wow!! It took me this long to wake up. Jeezz … Something is absolutely very wrong with me.
At one point of time, we must have thought of ourselves as the invincible one or the smartest one. Boy… was we wrong. There’s a hokkien saying: Our parents have eaten more salt then we have eaten rice… Go figure…

Well, I just hope that my boy will be wiser and smarter than me, then to do the entire foolish thing that I’ve done in the past. But who are we kidding? These are the part of the experience or process that we need in order to grow up. Mistakes improve a person, hence as a parent we can only guide our children, and we must allow them to have the freedom to be their own person. We can only advise and not dictates. But to what extend must the freedom be extend to?

Till next time…

Aduh...

I've agreed to a brother of mine that i would try to blog more often, seeing that I've not been blogging for the past 4mnths... Why? Maybe cos I've been to busy rebelling, plotting and etc..

LOL!!! Rebelling against? Hmmmm... (Maybe if you read on you'll be able to figure it out) But to those who know me, you'll probably guess it. So how have i been for the past months? Well there's always ups and downs in life, otherwise it will be so boring. To those that have not experiencing the ups and downs of life, are you sure that you're still living? My life would have to be more ups then downs but i generally feel that the downs are the one that we'll feel more hence we would feel that we've experience more downs than ups.... So far I've only 1 down in my life, and that's the part that am rebelling against. Otherwise it will be too smooth sailing. Rebelling against? Am rebelling against believes.... Believes or idea of a single person that does not make any sense. Well maybe not to me. I find it rather a challenge of having to rebel subtly and yet obvious to that one particular human. Maybe am allergic to him... Well it seems that whatever ideas or plans he brought up, i'll try to sabotage it.. Is there something wrong with me, or am just doing it for the sake of entertainning myself? Am entertaining myself or am i also his entertainment, maybe he finds it cute to just tweet me a little... Hmmm... Thank goodness I've my hubby to neutralize it all most of the time. I wonder how can my hubby stand for having always be the referee to both of us. He must be so tired or fed up with it. But sometimes he seems to be enjoying himself looking or listening at or to me in action... LOL...

Well enough of my negativity now... I believe it that i should try to be more adaptable just like my other half, or the least i can be is to be to receptive or open to new ideas.

Misery

Hey... It’s been too long since i last blog. I’ve been very busy with work. It takes some time getting use to flying again after a year break, with the vast time difference and the long, long “walking” hours. My first flight after such a long break was to Stockholm and New York. Yes, H1N1… that’s another story to tell.

The latest news with Aidan's that he had measles just last week. What I admired the most is that he didn't even whine or make a big fuss about it despite the fact that it was itchy and it was all over his body. Well he was slightly moody but that was it, if you’re to play with him, you’ll still gets lots of sweet smile from him. Besides measles, I think his tooth is growing too, so that’s an additional pain for him but he takes it all like a man. If I were him, am quite sure that I wouldn’t be taking it as easy as him. I’ll be sure to share my miseries… let the whole world know about my pain.

You’re such a good boy Aidan… I miss you very much.

Where are you?

Hmmm… What have I got in my mind today? Usual culprit, Aidan… everyday my mind & soul is with him. That’s a danger; I would better find a cure for this illness before it become hazardous. Ha! Ha!

How can missing one’s own son become hazardous? I won’t know…
He’s really growing up fast, tomorrow he’ll be 4 mnths old. Time flies by really fast isn’t it? I wonder what he is up to now. Sleeping perhaps… that will be the most idea thing for him to be doing at this hour, won’t want him to develop the night owl syndrome just like me.

His grandma told me a funny story about him today.

As usual after putting Aidan to sleep, his grandma would start on her chores, every 10 minutes or so she would peep at him, just to be sure that her precious Tuan Muda is doing alright. But unfortunately what happened yesterday was, her Tuan Muda was missing from his mattress (Aidan sleeps on the mattress on the floor in the living room during day time, cause he likes being in the open and not being confined to cot or in the room). She quickly ran to the living room while thinking where’s Aidan? And guess where the Tuan is? Sleeping… beneath the couch, 3 feet away from his mattress. How did he get there, he couldn’t crawl yet? No i-deer. But we do know that he has been moving forward, backward and going round in circle on his tummy (leaving saliva trails as his proof of achievement)

I guess he has found out that he prefer sleeping in the dark rather than in brightness… Way to go Aidan. That’s the way it is, be self reliant in getting what you want in life. Even mummy will have to learn from you.

Lesson noted… Thank you, son.

Dilemma

Finally the waiting is all over. I’ve finally received my next month roster, the wait was almost torturing. Why is it torturing? Not knowing where you will be for the next month is no fun and no joke at all plus your following month’s earning are base on your roster. *Sigh*. Our life, as a flight crew is not as rosy as it seems to be. Yes… we get to go to lots of places where a lot of people can only dream about plus we get paid to go there. Marvelous isn’t it? But why am I whining about it?

Imagine being us, your life is plan out for you by the company, where you’ll be dining, where you’ll sleep and when you’ll be available for your family. It’s all been plan out by the company. And your family will have to learn to accommodate to your schedule or to have gathering without your presence. We flight crew (not forgotten those who worked on shifts too have the same arrangement minus the constant traveling) don’t get any weekends off days or public holidays and if you want to apply for leave on those days, you got to apply at least 1 month ahead or maybe more, if you intend to apply for leave for Chinese New Year or Hari Raya or Christmas. There’s no such thing as last minute leave application, so unlike others who worked at the office with fixed working days. Even with the roster being planned out for you since last month, at times, your availability can be changed at last minute, due to operational requirement.

My hubby has asked me if I would be free on June, 30th (our 2nd wedding anniversary) and guess what my reply is. You got it right; we will have to wait for the June’s roster to be out first. Then we can plan our date. Ha! Ha! Lucky for me my husband got use to planning things around my schedule. After 5 years being with me.
If I’m so unhappy with this whole situation; why don’t I just quit flying and be a stay at home mum or look for other ground job. Simply said, just QUIT it, and stop whining!!

To be fair, when I applied for the job, it has already been made known to me that this will happen. My life will be plan out by the company. And I’ve agreed to it. So what’s there to whine about? No one’s force you to apply for this job anyway. The reason I applied for this job is because just like many of you out there; I want to see the world. But after 13 years of flying, have I seen it all? No, there are still some places which I’ve not been too. E.g. Beijing, which is one of the most popular tourist destination, but I’ve yet to leave my foot print there. I still have many other places that I want to visit, but I guess I’ll have to apply for annual leave first and wait for its approval before I start planning.
As bad as it seems to be after reading the earlier paragraphs but there’s good in this job. For example; I get an average of 10 off days in a month plus 30 days annual leave with medical benefits (inclusive of dental treatment) and not forgetting the annual FOC ticket for my dependent and myself, not bad if I were to compare to the rest of you out there in the office, with the perks that I’m getting. Besides all these perks from the company, there’s some other luxuries as well, for instance I get to go shopping when the mall is quiet or how I can take my time while paying the bills, as I don’t have to rush back to my desk, as my break time is almost up. (Touchy!!)

If it is so great, why did you whine so much earlier on??? Why? It’s all because that I’ve Aidan now and I don’t want to be separated from him. I miss him for every hour or day that he’s away from me. Again, quit flying then…

But I can’t, because I want to earn money for my own living or for Aidan. Not to say that my husband didn’t give me any money at all for the household or extra for our treats, in actual fact he has given us all that he has. Didn’t I want to spend all of my time with Aidan, watching him grow up day by day? Yes I do want to be by Aidan’s side all time but I also want to make my own money rather than relying on my husband for every needs and wants of my life. I want to have some control or security in my life, to me, to have my own money is the least control I can have in my life. Least with me working, Aidan would have more savings for his future. None of us can predict the future; by continuing to work at least I can be rest assure that in future if anything were to happen to my husband or if anything at all were to happened, I still have the capability to have a roof over Aidan’s head and to have food on the table for him. But there's always a choice in life, it is fine that you want to continue to work, but you still have a choice between going back to flying or to look for a ground job. Either one of the choice i made i would still have to be away from Aidan, might as well i carry on with what i love the most... Traveling.

There are always 2 sides to an argument or story. Let us all be our own judge to our own life…

If you are happy and you know, you clap your hand!!

I'm so so happy today. Why?Why?why?

No reason, I'm simply just feeling happy. Ermm... but why am i so happy? Probably it’s that I came out from a shopping mall empty handed, after spending like 3 hrs in the mall. What an achievement!!! This is truly unbelievable! I, SHARON FONG didn't buy anything for herself nor for her hubby or for Aidan!!

Ever since the day I've found out that i was pregnant and it’s a boy, there was never a day that i would go back home without anything for Aidan. (Well even before i was pregnant, i was a shopaholic too but it just got worse when i found out that i need to get things ready for Aidan. Tsk...Tsk... Excuses!)I always have a good and valid excuse for spending money. E.g.: "This is very cheap" or "It’s good for Aidan" or "Aidan have already out grown his shirt or pants" or "He need new toys". Whatever it is, there's always an excuse for everything, just so as long as I can shop.

How can one avoid not buying anything, as the minute you walk out from your home, at every corner of your everyday route regardless from where or to where, we will all come across these few evil words plastered around, “SALE" or "Warehouse SALE" or "Factory SALE" or " End of Season Clearance”. After seeing all these posters and banners, we give it in, we start browsing and we found the item that we like, we love, one of the kinds, has great discount on it and the basket piled up. Temptation grows. Some time passes by and suddenly a question will pops up in our head, What if I don’t have enough cash to pay for it? Then you start thinking that you might not come across this item again. Normally, this is when the devil in you appears and whisper at your ear, “Use the credit card, use the credit card, you won’t lose anything, you can pay it back before the month is up”. Ha!Ha! What a joke! Most of the time what will happened is that the temptations will keep on knocking and you’ll keep on autographing at the retail outlet till you found self control or the very least till the bank statements found you. How can one overcome this problem or issue of over spending and buying unnecessarily? What’s not helping is also the fact that if you already own a credit card, your next application for your 2nd or 3rd credit card will be much easier than the first application. In the end more debts… Sigh.

I too need to address this issue of overspending and buying unnecessarily. As i need to save more money, now that I've Aidan. I’ve his future to think of. I can't be selfish anymore and just think of myself. Guess...that's why am so happy and proud of myself of what happened today!! What happened today was just a fluke! And i hope that this fluke will keep on repeating. Maybe it’s a fluke or maybe it’s simply because I’m finally awake? Shame on you Sharon, that you will need a 4mnths old boy to wake you up.I’ve tried lots of ways before but it just didn't worked. I’ve tried every ways or ideas that have been poured on me. I guess others can tell me a million thing or ways to overcome it but what i need most would be SELF DISCIPLINE or SELF CONTROL!! Where can one learn self discipline? Aarggh!!!

In conclusion, I will need to constantly improve and change myself for Aidan’s sake. Consider it an upgrade version of me, I would never have thought of changing or improving myself for anyone before… And i hope that this changes in me is not a temporarily thing.

Aidan's Visit to the Doc.

Today is Aidan's 3rd visit to the clinic for his 3rd month mandatory jap. What happened in there amazes me.... I'm truly amazed by him. I kept on thinking 'bout this all the time, "Is Aidan really 4mnths old".

Well today at the clinic, after weighing him and measuring his height, the nurse was prepping him for his jab, he wasn't all that happy been strap down, he was grumpy!!

A couple of seconds ticks by and here comes the Dr with the syringe ready to jap,
*puurrttt*, Aidan farted at the Dr's face, the Dr immediately rises his head. (imagine your reaction when someone farted at your face, that's the reaction from the Dr). Upon rising, what he saw was Aidan's giving him one of his sweetest smiles. Dr smiled back at Aidan. I was smiling away... Good boy, he know's that he's wrong so he apologise by giving you his sweetest smile. Long story short, both 2nd & 3rd attempts to jap Aidan, brought 2 more foc farts to the Dr's face again, and yet again after each fart Aidan would give the Dr his sweetest smile. By then i was trying to suppress my laughter. The 4th attempt to jap him was a success, Aidan didn't fart anymore...

I guess he knows that for every wrong doings after the 3rd attempts, he wouldn't be that lucky anymore. Aidan didn't cry at all after the jap, when we reached home he slept through all the way till now, let’s see we reached home around 3pm and now is nearly 11pm. He must be having one helluva dream… Cos he’s smiling in his sleeps. Could it be the Dr that he’s dreaming about? He must be thinking that revenge is sweet

Thank you Dr Chew, thanks for been patient with Aidan today…

My reasons

Heylo heylo all... This is my first attempt at blogging although I've wanted to do so ever since the blogging craze hits M'sia years ago. Why didn't i blog then? Cause i'm insecure. Towards? Well my english of cause, my grammar is bad... I don't wanna make a fool of myself.

So why the change?

I woke up from the wrong side of the bed today and i've decided that i need an improved model or version of the new me, the new mummy in me. If i don't pluck up the courage to improve myself, how else am i gonna tell my son that we need to constantly improve ourselves, not to be static and to play it safe and it's okay to changed. Hopefully this is gonna be the first of the many steps i'm gonna take towards self improvement.

What am i gonna blog about here? No i-deer... Will see where all these takes me to.

First of all I'm a mummy to a 4mnths old boy name Aidan. He's my first born, arrived into our chaotic home on the 25th December 2008, on Christmas Day. I've worked very hard for my Christmas gift. It's the gift of a lifetime from my hubby.

Aidan has changed my life in many aspects; i would never have expected myself to have so much love for a baby, toddler or kid before. I really have no patience at all when it comes to dealing with kids. But ever since i've Aidan i've changed, I've started paying lots of attention to baby, toddler or kids even if there not mine or a total strangers bundle of joy.

I miss my boy...

Which mother out there would not say that they misses they bundle or bundles of joy? The hardest part is going back to work after the 2mnths confinement....
By joining back the workforce meaning i would have to be separated from Aidan, due to the nature of my job. I'm a flying mother, i'm the flying tea coffee mummy... Worse of all I’m base at KL while my in laws and my parents are all over the east side. So hence Aidan would have to reside there as well…

Cruel? M I a lousy mum? Or why can’t I employ a maid to look after him, while my husband is at work?

Reasons; my husband’s work brings him away from home every now and then too, and it’s always last minute notice. Leaving him with the maid, will gives us more stress than having him over at the east side with our parents.
I won’t wanna add issues to my existing issue of missing him every hour of the days that we are apart.

I’ve plans; I’ll make sure that my son will not grow up without me by his side for more than 2 weeks. So far I’ve been on track with my plan, even though it is very tiring but it is worth the rush and the lack of rest or sleeps. It’s only the 2nd month, will see how it progress…